I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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