She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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