She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
