So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
