Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
