His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
