Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
