3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
