I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I can't turn off my feet"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
