at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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