watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
