well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
