and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
