lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
