Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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