Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Randomize
