Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
