How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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