Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
