Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
