He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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