Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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