Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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