I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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