Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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