just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
