Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
