you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
