a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
