I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize