Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
