Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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