I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
