Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
