We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
