I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
