yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
