guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
