If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
