Your dad touched me again.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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