Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Blood and glitter go together right?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
