Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
even my farts smell like vagina
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
