Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
