ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
