so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
