you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
