I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
