making cat noises will not fix the situation.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
