how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
