No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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